PART 1: SCREWED
SCENE 1: INT. VINCENT’S CAR – EVENING
•JOSH and VINCENT drive down the street in Vincent’s black Honda Civic.
•Their both in their early 20’s.
•Josh has short messy black hair, a stubble covered face just shy of being a beard, thick black plastic glasses, and jeans and a t-shirt.
•Vincent was about a foot taller then Josh, messy blonde hair, jeans and an unbuttoned long sleeve shirt over a t-shirt.
•The car is older, but well kept.
•Vincent is driving, while Josh sings along to an indie rock song on the radio.
•Vincent turns to talk to Josh as they pull up to EMILY’s house.
VINCENT
Do you think you could hop in the backseat so Emily can sit up here?
JOSH
(Teasing)
Why? Are you finally gonna make a move?
VINCENT
(Defensive)
Hey don’t rush me, things like this take time.
JOSH
(Sarcastically)
Well you better hurry up, I’m starting to feel like the third wheel of a tricycle that no one gets to ride.
•Josh hops out of the car as he sees Emily approaching, and holds the door open for her.
•Emily is also in her twenty’s, with long auburn hair, and longer legs, she is the shortest of the three.
JOSH
(Flirty)
Here you go m’lady
EMILY
(Smiling)
Why thank you kind sir.
•Vincent throws a jealous glare at Josh, but it quickly melts away as Emily sits down next to him in the front seat.
EMILY
So where are we going tonight boys?
JOSH
(Excitedly)
Well Vincent knows some guys that can get us some dro!
EMILY
(Pouting)
Aw, but Thought we could go see the new Twilight tonight.
•Josh and Vincent gave each other nervous glances, and they knew they would give in to her demands.
EMILY
(Laughing)
Come on, you guys know I hate Twilight! Let’s go get high!
•Josh and Vincent both let out sighs of relief. The car pulls away from Emily’s house and starts heading towards the dro.
EMILY
You guys are too easy. So who are these guys with dro? Anyone I know?
VINCENT
(Nervously)
About that, these guys are a little eccentric. I just met them a few days ago, and well. Let’s just say that their different.
•Emily starts looking worried and is about to say something before Josh Chimes in.
JOSH
(Scolding Vincent)
Jeez, why do you have to make everything so so bad? Their two redneck brothers, they might scare you at first but I promise they wouldn’t hurt a fly. And once you get stoned, they’ll be the funniest thing in the room.
EMILY
(Skeptically)
Red necks? I dunno, Twilight is starting to sound better right about now.
VINCENT
And you wonder why I didn’t want to tell her.
JOSH
(Reassuringly)
Trust me, if these guys didn’t have the best dro in town then we wouldn’t be going at all.
EMILY
And what if I absolutely hate it there?
JOSH
(Pleading)
If you really wanna leave, just scratch your nose and we’ll make up some kind of excuse to get out of there.
EMILY
(Giving in)
Alright, alright. I’ll go, but this had better be the best weed I’ve ever smoked.
SCENE 2: EXT. THE FREDRICKSON’S YARD – NIGHT
•The Fredrickson’s live in a two story log cabin with a screened in porch.
•There is forest on all sides except for a narrow dirt road leading away from their house to the main road.
•The yard is littered with empty beer cans and trash.
•FREDERICK and CLETUS are sitting in rocking chairs on the porch, sipping on cans of beer and passing a joint between them.
•Cletus is in his late 30’s, while Frederick is in his late 40’s to early 50’s.
•Both of them are dressed in overalls, Frederick has a red flannel shirt on while Cletus is shirtless.
•They are also both overweight with sizable beer guts.
•A pair of shotguns sit between the brothers.
•Frederick picks his up as Vincent’s car pulls up.
CLETUS
(Concerned shout)
Whoa, whoa! Fred what are you doin’?!
FREDERICK
(Angrily)
Come on Cletus, how many times do I gotta tell you what we do to unwanted visitors?
CLETUS
(Concerned still, but not shouting anymore)
Well yeah I know, but we invited them.
FREDERICK
(Putting down the shotgun)
Well shit, why didn’t you say so sooner. I could’a killed them.
INT. VINCENT’S CAR – NIGHT
JOSH
(Reassuringly)
See, I told you he’d put the gun down.
EMILY
It still doesn’t look very inviting.
•The Fredrickson’s can be seen through the front windshield, their holding up a very large bag of weed and motioning for them to come out of the car.
VINCENT
(Pointing towards the Fredrickson’s, smiling)
How about now?
EXT. THE FREDRICKSON’S YARD – NIGHT
•Emily runs excitedly towards the Fredrickson’s, while Josh and Vincent are still getting out of the car. •Frederick and Cletus have jaw dropped expressions on their faces as Emily runs towards them.
EMILY
(Excitedly yelling)
Oh my God, I’ve never seen so much pot before!
CLETUS
(Under his breath)
I’ve never seen such perky tits before.
EMILY
(Slightly out of breath as she reaches the porch steps)
So how much are you guys selling for?
CLETUS
Well it depends on how much you want, and the quality…
FREDERICK
(Cutting Cletus off)
For you my darling, no charge.
EMILY
(Thankful)
Aw, really! My friends too?
•Vincent and Josh arrive at Emily’s side, awaiting Frederick’s answer as they stared down the large bag of weed.
FREDERICK
(Unsure)
Well I dunno…
EMILY
(Cupping her hands together, and pushing her breasts together with the sides of her arms)
Please!
FREDERICK
(Giving in without taring his gaze away from Emily’s chest)
Alright, alright. Come on in and I’ll smoke you all out.
SCENE 3: INT. THE FREDRICKSON’S CABIN – NIGHT
•The Fredrickson’s cabin is filled to the brim with all manner of things.
•Taxidermy-ed animals adorned every wall, most of which were made from two or more animals.
•Also scattered about were magazines, guns of all kinds, empty water jugs and a few full of coins, ancient and presumably broken TV’s, junk food wrappers, empty beer cans, cigarette butts and roaches over flowed from one central ashtray in what one could assumed to be a living room.
•The Fredrickson’s invite them to have a seat around the coffee table upon which this ashtray sits.
•The furniture ranged from antiques to lawn chairs.
•The only other place to sit is a sad over sized and sagging couch.
•On opposing sides of the living room hung an American flag, and a Confederate flag.
•Next to the overflowing ashtray is a taxidermy animal with the body of a squirrel, the tail of a beaver, and goat horns.
•In front of the couch is a stack of TV’s 3 high.
FREDERICK
Alright, have a seat and we’ll get to smoking. Now let’s see…
•Frederick does a quick head count, point at everyone as he counts them.
FREDERICK (CONT’D)
Five heads. I think this calls for a blunt!
•Frederick takes a seat in the center of the couch, and begins to break up the weed.
•Josh, Vincent, and Emily fill up the remaining space on the couch, while Cletus takes a near by lawn chair.
EMILY
So where did you guys get so much weed?
CLETUS
Oh, we get all our weed from the fantasy weed island.
FREDERICK
(Shouting, still rolling)
Dammit Cletus! I told you never to revel our secret!
CLETUS
(Apologetic)
Sorry Fred.
JOSH
(Excited)
Whoa, a fantasy weed island?!
FREDERICK
(Annoyed)
See what you started now Cletus.
VINCENT
Hey I remember you told me about this last time I was here. It’s in the middle of a huge lake around here right?
FREDERICK
(Dumbfounded and angry)
Wha…
CLETUS
Hey Fred, I see the blunt you’ve been rolling is done.
FREDERICK
(Surprised)
Oh hey! So it is. Let’s smoke!
•Everyone looks relieved as Frederick’s anger disappears as suddenly as it came.
•After a few hits of the blunt it’s replaced by happiness.
•Everyone is now laughing and having fun as they higher.
•Cletus gets up briefly to put on a Chet Atkins record, unceremoniously knocking over a stack of papers to revel a record player underneath.
•It was hooked up to an old set of speakers that looked to be straight from the 70’s.
•He returned to his seat just in time for his hit.
JOSH
(Stoned, staring at the various taxidermy animals)
So what’s with all the animals man? You guys really kill all them?
FREDERICK
(Nodding and smiling, hands folded across chest)
Impressive isn’t it.
VINCENT
(Pointing towards a taxidermined bear head near the front door)
Yeah, especially that one.
FREDERICK
Ha, you think that’s cool?
FREDERICK (CONT’D)
(Turning towards Cletus)
Cletus, show them…
•He pauses for dramatic effect, but it comes off a little cheesy.
•Emily giggles while Josh and Vincent hang on his every word.
FREDERICK (CONT’D)
The alien!
•Emily bursts into full blown laughter, and the rest of them being stoned soon followed suite.
•Still laughing, Cetus gets up to follow his brothers order.
•The laughing fits start dying down as he returns.
•In his hands is the taxidermined head of an alien.
•It has a dull gray color to it, a large bulbous head that ended in a point at it’s chin.
•Large black liquid like eyes, three foot long translucent antennas arching out from its forehead filled strange round black masses, a small slit for a mouth, and two small holes where a nose should be.
•The sight of it sets Emily off in another fit of laughter, but Josh and Vincent become shocked beyond the ability to speak.
•Emily recovers from her latest laughing fit before Josh and Vincent are able to compose themselves.
EMILY
(Still giggling a little between words)
Holy shit is that for real?
CLETUS
(Tossing the alien head towards Emily)
See for yourself pretty lady.
•Emily let out a scream as she caught the cold leathery head.
•She tossed it up in the air, not wanting it to be near her any longer.
•Josh didn’t catch it so much as have it land in his lad.
•It landed face to face with him, and he became transfixed by it.
JOSH
(Stunned whisper)
Holy crap…
FREDERICK
(Prideful)
We got him about six months back.
VINCENT
(Finally coming out of his daze)
How the hell’d you manage that?
SCENE 4: EXT. FANTASY WEED LAKE – NIGHT
•A huge lake with a small island at it’s center.
•The lake itself is surrounded by forest.
•The entire scene is illuminated by the full moon.
•Frederick and Cletus can be seen fishing from a small row boat, floating somewhere between the two shores.
•They were drinking and smoking as they fished.
FREDERICK (NARRATING)
Well me and Cletus here were fishing out by Fantasy Weed Island one night. ‘Course we didn’t know it was a weed island just yet.
•Everything around them starts to get brighter.
•The brothers stat to panic, and begin frantically rowing towards the main shore.
FREDERICK (NARRATING)
We weren’t fishing for aliens of course, but they sure as hell were fishing for us.
•The light becomes blindingly bright as it follows them across the lake.
•The Fredrickson’s start floating upwards towards the source of the light.
•They scream out in terror and for help.
FREDERICK (NARRATING)
I tell you what, that was the scariest shit of my life.
CLETUS (NARRATING)
Amen brother.
SCENE 5: INT. ALIEN SPACE SHIP – SPACE
•Cletus and Frederick have been transported aboard an alien ship.
•The walls of the ship were sleek and metal, with rows of lights running along the sides in intricate patterns.
•The walls slowly faded from one color to the next in an infinite rainbow loop.
•Tall slender beings stood around them, all with heads exactly like the taxidermined one from earlier.
•None of the aliens had clothes of any kind on.
•They are surrounded by the gray males, with a few green females looking on from behind them with mild interest.
•They sat in the center of a large room, with their legs sprawled out in front of themselves.
•Fear gripped Cletus as he stared down his abductors, but Frederick seemed wrought with anger.
FREDERICK (NARRATING)
But once I saw that it was fucking aliens I ‘bout lost my shit.
•Frederick stood up to confront the aliens, while Cletus seemed content to grip his brothers leg in fear.
FREDERICK
(Shouting in anger while jabbing his finger in the aliens direction)
You slimy mother fuckers! We’re both highly evolved sentient beings! There’s no reason to go around kidnapping people you fuckin’ dicks!
•Two of the grays began to approach Frederick, speaking in a strange alien language as they did so.
•Frederick quickly whipped out a concealed hunting knife from his boot, and slashed through the eye of the nearest gray.
•The wounded gray staggered backward clutching his eye as he braked more orders at the rest of the grays in their strange alien language.
FREDERICK
(Laughing triumphantly)
Ha! Come at me again you fucker’s!
•Seeing his brother fight back galvanized Cletus into action, and he quickly grabbed a hold of another Gray that was headed towards them.
•Cletus pulls out a hunting knife of his own, and holds it up the the alien’s throat.
CLETUS
(Fierce determination in his voice)
So what’s our next move bro?
FREDERICK
(Gloating)
I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do next.
•Frederick then turned towards the mass of grays, slowly pointing towards each one with his bloody knife as he spoke.
FREDERICK
These bug eyed cock suckers are gonna send us back to Earth, or we’re gonna gut their friend here!
•He leveled his knife at his hostages midsection with his last line.
•The grays started yelping wildly at the Fredrickson’s, in their strange alien language.
•Suddenly the section of floor beneath the Fredrickson’s begins to glow white, much like the light that brought them aboard the ship.
•Cletus loosens his grip in shock, and his hostage uses this opportunity to escape by easily tossing Cletus over his shoulder.
CLETUS
(Trailing off in a scream)
Oh son of a bitch…
•Still flying through the air, Cletus manages to slice the aliens head off.
•At that same moment all of the walls turn a bright and angry shade of of red,and the floor beneath the Fredrickson’s reach it’s brightest point.
•The next instant the light was gone, along with it were the Fredrickson’s and the severed head of an alien.
•The floor now matches the walls angry red color.
•Green female aliens now weep over the headless alien, and an alien with a huge bloody gash running through his eye looks on in menacing anger.
SCENE 6: EXT. FANTASY WEED ISLAND – NIGHT
•The Fredrickson’s appear about five feet above a large pile of bud which serves to break their fall quite well.
•The stared at each other in dumbfounded shock for a few seconds, before letting out a series of loud shouts of joy.
FREDERICK (NARRATING)
And that’s how we discovered Fantasy Weed Island.
SCENE 7: INT. FREDRICKSON’S CABIN – NIGHT
EMILY
(Laughing hysterically and shouting)
Oh shut the fuck up!
CLETUS
(Defensively)
Hey we got the head, what more proof do you need?
VINCENT
(Skeptically)
But you just landed in a pile of bud? You gotta admit that sounds a little too convenient.
FREDERICK
(Boastfully)
Well that’s actually another very interesting story.
•Suddenly everyone looks up to a blinding flash of light coming in through the nearby windows, followed by a loud BWOMFPH sound just outside of the cabin.
•They just stared at each other for a few moments before racing outside to see what happened.
SCENE 8: EXT. THE FREDRICKSON’S YARD – NIGHT
•A small crater has appeared where Vincent’s car once sat.
•In the center of the crater is a small metal cube, glistening in the moon light.
•Chunks of Vincent’s car are scattered around the crater, the bulk of it being crushed underneath the metal cube.
•Several small fires casually burned around the crater.
FREDERICK
(Deadly serious)
Cletus get my shotgun, their back to finish the job.
EMILY
(Nervously laughing)
What?…What the fuck?
VINCENT
(Wailing)
My car!
•Vincent runs wailing toward the cube, and starts pounding on it in despair.
•The Fredrickson’s follow close behind, shotguns in hand and ready for war.
•Josh and Emily followed cautiously behind them.
•Cletus pulls Vincent from from the cube and tosses him to the ground behind him.
CLETUS
(Annoyed)
Git away from there ya big dummy.
FREDERICK
Yeah, we’ll take it from here.
VINCENT
(Whimpering)
My car…
•Suddenly the top of the cube popped open with a hiss of escaping air.
FREDERICK
Hold steady Cletus, he’s almost on us.
•A voice with a British accent could be heard from the depths of the cube, as if far away.
VOICE (ERIC)
(Scolding)
Jeez Jon, I thought you’d never stop knocking. I really must teach you some manners one of these days.
•Frederick and Cletus gave each other curious looks at the sound.
JOSH
(Quizzically)
Is that a person in there?
VINCENT
(now filled with desperate rage)
Who cares what it is! Don’t you see what he did to my car! Kill him!
FREDERICK
(Annoyed)
Would you shut yer trap, he’s getting closer.
•Foot steps could be heard echoing up towards them for the impossible depths of the cube.
•A hand can be seen curling around the edge of the cube top, and lifting it all the way open.
•Emily gasped at the sight of the hand while the Fredrickson’s steadied their aim on whoever was coming out of the box.
•A tall slender man with messy looking short black hair and a neatly kept goatee emerged from the cube on a ladder that seemed to stretch down far below the bottom of the cube.
•He wore a dull orange long sleeve shirt and black slacks.
•Fear sweeps over his face as he takes in the shotguns aimed at him.
ERIC
(Frightened half whisper)
Oh my.
FREDERICK
(Growling)
Who are you, start talking!
ERIC
(Frightened and nervously smiling while extending his hand to shake, with his other hand raised in the air in surrender)
Oh, I’m Eric…
•He was cut off short by Cletus bashing him in the face with the butt of his gun
•Eric’s body slumped forward hanging over the edge of the cube unconscious as Frederick shot an angry look towards Cletus.
FREDERICK
(Angrily)
What the fuck was that for? He was clearly human.
CLETUS
(Sheepishly)
Sorry, his accent was freakin’ me out.
FREDERICK
Alright, let’s get him inside at least.
•Frederick and Cletus hoist Eric’s body out of the cube, and carry him back to the cabin.
•The others follow slowly behind as they talk.
EMILY
(Freaked out)
Was that fucking pot laced or something?!
VINCENT
(Still in shock from his car’s destruction.)
I never saw anything like this the first time I smoked their pot.
JOSH
(Excited)
Hey guys, I kinda wanna go check out his ship!
•Emily and Vincent both stop and stare Josh down.
EMILY
(Scolding)
Are you crazy?
JOSH
(Defensively)
Well why not?
•Josh throws his arms up to help make his point.
JOSH (CONT’D)
It’s a freaking space ship! I mean when are we ever gonna get another chance to see one? And if you ask me Vince, space ship for a car is an awesome trade.
•Vincent started smiling at the prospect of owning a space ship.
•Josh turned towards Emily with a pair of puppy dog eyes.
EMILY
(Giving in)
Alright fine.
•They start walking back toward the ship.
SCENE 9: INT. THE FREDRICKSON’S CABIN – NIGHT
•Eric was tied to a lawn chair in front of the tower of TV’s, the Fredrickson’s stood over him with arms crossed over their chests.
•He was still unconscious.
FREDERICK
(Slightly impressed)
Damn you really did a number on him little brother.
CLETUS
Like I said, his accent was pretty freaky.
FREDERICK
Well try not to hit him again when he wakes up. I actually want to hear him answer some of my questions.
•They stare down at him for a few more moments.
FREDERICK
Hey go get a bucket of water, we’ll shock ‘em awake.
•Cletus quickly leaves to get a bucket of water.
•He returns a few moments later with a bucket of water.
•He is about to toss it’s contents onto Eric before Frederick stops him.
FREDERICK
(Shouting)
Are you crazy? Not when he’s in front of the TV like that!
CLETUS
(Annoyed with being shouted at)
Well where should we do it then Fred?
•Eric begins to stir, awaken by the shouting.
ERIC
(Groggy)
Ugh…Please don’t pour water on me. I am awake now.
•Cletus starts a series of rapid fire questions that Eric barley has time to answer.
CLETUS
(Aggressive)
Who are you?
ERIC
My name is Eric Arnett
CLETUS
Are you an alien?
ERIC
I don’t have my green card if that’s what you mean
CLETUS
(Pointing towards the door)
What did that kid’s car ever do to you?
ERIC
(Apologetic)
Oh, did I land on a car? Sorry.
FREDERICK
Cletus stop, there’s just one question I need him to answer for me.
•Frederick lowers himself on his knees until he’s eye level with Eric.
FREDERICK (CONT’D)
(Serious)
Are you Dr. Who?
ERIC
(Scoffing)
What like the television show?
•Eric stopped talking and saw how serious Frederick was.
•He gulped before continuing to speak.
ERIC
Well I suppose I am a bit like the good Doctor.
•Frederick let out a loud shout of joy as he grabbed up Eric, lawn chair and all in a big bear hug.
•Frederick swung Eric around despite Eric’s protests.
FREDERICK
(Joyous)
Woo, I found Dr. Who! Come on, take me on an adventure with you!
ERIC
(Annoyed shouting)
Alright alright, just put me down!
•Frederick plopped Eric down back in front of the TV tower.
•The rope that held Eric to the lawn chair had loosened during Frederick’s bear hug, and Eric now removed it the rest of the way.
•Eric shook his dizziness away, and takes in his surrounding for the first time.
ERIC
(Curiously point toward the bag on the center table)
Is that pot?
SCENE 10: EXT. THE FREDRICKSON’S YARD – NIGHT
•Emily, Vincent, and Josh reach the ship.
•Josh arrives first, and tries to climb in but he is stopped by the sudden appearance of a HOLOGRAM that looks like Eric.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Sounds like a slightly robotic Eric, cheerful)
Why hello there! My name is Eric Arnett, universal explorer and unofficial ambassador to Earth. It appears as though you are trying to board my ship without me, and I must insist that you wait until I can accompany personally. We can’t be too careful with the Squirrel Armada on the move, I’m sure you understand.
EMILY
Wow, what a character.
JOSH
(Glancing at the hologram uncertainly as he speaks)
I’d probably think he was crazy if his hologram didn’t just talk to us.
VINCENT
So are we getting on this ship or what? I’m not about to let some hologram stop me.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Actually I can stop you, and it will hurt quite a bit. Please do not attempt entry.
•Vincent glared at the hologram before glancing at Josh who shrugged his shoulders in response.
STRANGER (Thug Master)
I’d listen to the hologram if I were you.
•They turned around gasping.
•Behind them was a shorter man in his late 30’s.
•He wore a gray trench coat, and a gray fedora with a purple band around it.
•His eyes couldn’t be seen, they were hidden in the shadow of his fedora.
•He casually smoked a cigarette as he stared them down.
•Parked behind him is a jet black Cadillac, nearly impossible to make out in the night.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Cut off)
Why hello there Thug Master! It’s…
THUG MASTER
(Annoyed)
Shut down.
•The hologram blinked out of existence, and they were left alone with Thug Master.
•Thug Master took one final hit from his cigarette, before flicking it towards the ground.
THUG MASTER
Where is Eric?
SCENE 11: INT. THE FREDRICKSON’S CABIN – NIGHT
•A cloud of smokes in the air above Eric and the Fredrickson’s.
•Their laughing is loud enough to drown out Cletus’ music.
•Thug Master kicks in the front door suddenly.
•He has a gun in hand, and he looks ready for a fight.
•Eric and the Fredrickson’s go silent at his entry, but quickly go back to laughing.
ERIC
(Laughing)
Jonathan! You must meet my new friends!
THUG MASTER
(Turning towards Emily, Vincent, and Josh who were waiting on he porch)
I thought you said they were going to kill him.
JOSH
(Shrugging)
I guess they made up.
•Thug Master shook his head in disgust, and put his gun away.
THUG MASTER
(Shouting)
Eric!
•The laughter cut out again, and Eric gulped as he turned to face Thug Master.
ERIC
(Nervously)
Yes Jonathan?
THUG MASTER
(Coldly)
I assume that you are celebrating because your mission was a huge success?
ERIC
Er, well there may have been a slight setback.
THUG MASTER
(Angrily)
What happened?
ERIC
Well you see neither me or Oberon could locate the Acorn, and then Kjipper had a meltdown at the Peace Conference…
THUG MASTER
(Cutting Eric off)
Where is I now?
ERIC
(Gulping)
Abroad Kjipper’s Armada Vessel.
FREDERICK
(Stoned)
Wait, wait, wait. What the fuck are you two talking about?
THUG MASTER
(Sighing, but still only talking to Eric)
Friends of yours?
ERIC
Much better then then we first met.
THUG MASTER
Alright, myself and Eric are leaving. Anyone who wants to join us is welcome to do so, but you’d better not get in our way.
FREDERICK
Well shit, I’m not gonna miss out on an adventure with Dr. Who! Come on Cletus!
SCENE 12: EXT. THE FREDRICKSON’S PORCH – NIGHT
•Everyone moves outside towards Eric’s ship, leaving Josh, Emily, and Vincent on the porch talking.
JOSH
(Talking to Vincent)
Hey I think we just got our invitation aboard the ship.
EMILY
Are you guys crazy? Lets just go home!
VINCENT
I’d take you home if I could Em, but my car’s kinda been wrecked.
JOSH
Yeah, if nothing else they can give us a ride home.
EMILY
Argh. Fine alright, we better hurry though.
•They quickly run across the remains of the Fredrickson’s yard, and climb down into Eric’s ship one by one.
PART 2: FLIGHT
SCENE 13: INT. ERIC’S SHIP (LITTLE BOX) – NIGHT/SPACE
•Emily, Josh, and Vincent are climbing down an endlessly long ladder, in the narrow corridor that is Eric’s ship.
•The walls are completely black, with the only light coming from the opening up top.
VINCENT
(Worried)
Anyone else wonder how such a little box could be so deep?
JOSH
(Sarcastically)
Probably the same why it managed to kill your car.
EMILY
Vince is right though. I feel like I’m climbing down into Marry Poppins’ hand bag.
VINCENT
Can you see the bottom yet?
EMILY
No, it’s all black from what I can tell.
•Suddenly the opening of the ship closed leaving them in complete darkness.
•Then the walls around them light up in a shimmering rainbow of colors.
•The ship begins to shake violently, throwing Josh, Vincent, and Emily from the ladder.
•They land in a heap at the base of the ladder, and the shaking subsides.
•They are in a large room with a very similar design to the alien ship from SCENE 5.
•A long table sits in the center of the room, the Fredrickson’s, Eric, and Thug Master are already seated there staring at Emily, Josh and Vincent as the land.
ERIC
Why hello there, I didn’t think you’d be joining us.
THUG MASTER
(Annoyed)
Oh, the would be ship thieves, I hope that’s not still your plan.
VINCENT
(Nervously)
Oh, well not exactly.
THUG MASTER
(More annoyed)
Here I’ll make it easy for you kid, you’re not stealing this ship. So what are you doing here?
JOSH
(Jumping in)
The thing is this ship here landed on our car, and I dunno if you wanna trade info or what?
EMILY
Yeah, we are kind of stranded now.
•Thug Master face palms with a groan.
FREDERICK
Hey you know this is Dr. Who right? Most people would kill to have their car wrecked by the Tardis!
•Thug Master lets out another audible groan.
•Eric gets up and walks towards a nearby wall mounted control panel, talking as he does so.
ERIC
(Pausing as he reaches the control panel)
I’m very sorry about your car. I will of course pay for a replacement and give you a ride home…
•Eric pushes a button on the control panel.
ERIC
But we will have to take a slight detour on the way.
•The shimmering rainbow walls slowly dissolve away to revel the outside of the ship, almost as if the ship has become invisible.
•They were traveling through space at a very accelerated rate compared to NASA ships.
•The wall with the ladder leading up towards the entrance, now showed the diminishing dark side of the moon.
•The wall behind Eric with the control panel now showed a slowly growing Mars in the distance.
•Emily, Josh and Vincent leap for the ladder, while the Fredrickson’s jump up on the center table.
EMILY
(Shocked)
Oh my God!
FREDERICK
(Angrily frightened)
Oh shit fuck!
THUG MASTER
(Sighing)
Everyone please calm down, your not going to fly away into space, Eric turn the visibility back on.
EMILY
(Shouting)
What the fuck are we doing in space?!
ERIC
(Nervously)
Well like I said before we’ll be taking a slight detour.
JOSH
(Yelling and pointing)
Slight! That was the moon back there!
THUG MASTER
(Anger outburst)
Eric, turn the visibility on now!
•The walls slowly change back the their ever changing rainbow patterns.
THUG MASTER
(After a deep breath, and gesturing his hands towards the table as he speaks)
Now if everyone just takes a seat I’ll explain everything.
•The Fredrickson’s slowly climb down from the table as Josh, Vincent and Emily make their way towards the table.
•Eric and Thug Master sit at the head of either side of the table.
•Thug Master began speaking once everyone was seated.
THUG MASTER
(Apologetic)
Now I’m sorry about your car but quite frankly, we have more pressing matters at hand.
EMILY
(Still shaken from earlier)
Yeah, like the fact that we’re in outer space!
THUG MASTER
Look I know that space travel can be scary the first time but trust me, you’re far better off up here then back on Earth.
ERIC
Especially if we fail.
FREDERICK
No way Dr.! You can’t fail!
THUG MASTER
You don’t even know what the Earth is in danger from; how do you know we won’t fail?
JOSH
Oh is it solar flares?
THUG MASTER
No.
JOSH
A polar shift?
THUG MASTER
(Starting to get annoyed)
No.
JOSH
Asteroids?
THUG MASTER
(More annoyed)
No.
FREDERICK
(As a matter-of-factly)
Come on kid, it’s obviously aliens.
THUG MASTER
(Surprised)
How did you know it was aliens?
FREDERICK
Oh well me and Cletus have been abducted before, and the inside of their ship looked just like this one. So I just figured aliens would have something to do with this.
ERIC
Abducted you say? Well we shouldn’t be seeing any Tasers on this trip, just Squirrels.
VINCENT
Squirrels?
THUG MASTER
They are intelligent lifeforms that resemble squirrels yes.
EMILY
Why the hell would we be afraid of Squirrels?
THUG MASTER
Well they are around four feet tall, they have technology far beyond that of Earth’s, there’s an armada of them headed our way, and their being led by a bloodthirsty manic who just uncovered an extremely powerful weapon.
•He pauses to let everything sink in.
THUG MASTER (CONT’D)
Any questions?
JOSH
Wait, wait, back up a second. Who the hell are you guys anyway? How do you know all this?
EMILY
Come on Josh, don’t tell me you believe all the crap about alien squirrels.
JOSH
Well normally I wouldn’t, but anything seems possible when your flying through space.
VINCENT
(Pointing at Thug Master)
I bet he’s with the Government!
THUG MASTER
(Laughing)
The Government? Hah aha, your Government can’t even run the country right now, let alone stave off an inter-galactic attack. Don’t ever compare me to such a useless and dysfunctional institution again.
•Thug Master pushes back from the table and stands up.
THUG MASTER
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to call The General. Eric, finish getting them up to speed.
•He walks over to the same control panel that Eric was at earlier, and pushes a button that causes a doorway to another room materialize in the wall.
•Thug Master enters the room, and the doorway disappears into the wall again.
•Frederick quickly chimes in once Thug Master is out of the room.
FREDERICK
(Proudly crossing his arms across his chest)
Government, ha! It’s obvious that he’s the head Time Lord.
ERIC
Er, yes exactly. Head Time Lord, now where were we?
EMILY
How about who are you guys?
FREDERICK
Can no one hear me, they’re Time Lords! Tell ‘em Cletus.
CLETUS
(Nervously)
Gee I dunno Fred, isn’t that just a TV show?
FREDERICK
(Gradually increasing excitement, and point towards Eric when he mentions Dr. Who)
Well that’s what I thought, but here we are in outer space with Dr. fucking Who!
CLETUS
Well yeah but you’re the only one calling him Dr. Who. I’m pretty sure his name is Eric.
FREDERICK
(Turning towards Eric with a look of shock)
What! Dr. Who is this true?!
ERIC
(Placing a comforting hand on Frederick’s shoulder)
Yes Freddy I’m afraid it is. I’m not Dr. Who, I’m just Eric.
FREDERICK
(Sadness creeping into his voice)
And that other guy isn’t the head Time Lord?
ERIC
(Apologetic)
No my friend, he’s not.
•Frederick lower his head on the table and appears to be holding back tears.
EMILY
Jeez you are so melodramatic.
CLETUS
(Laughing)
Oh shit Fred are you crying! This is the greatest day of my life!
ERIC
Come now Freddy, it’s not that bad is it? You still get to go on an adventure in space!
•Frederick lifts his head to look up at Eric, his eyes are watery and red.
CLETUS
Yeah Fred, fighting aliens. Isn’t that what we always wanted.
•Frederick sits up the rest of the way, and whips the tears away from his eyes as he speaks.
FREDERICK
Your right! I need to get out of fantasy mood and get into killin’ aliens mode!
•Emily leans over towards Vincent and whispers in his ear.
EMILY
I’m not sure how long I can handle these guys somber.
VINCENT
(Whispering)
More then worth a trip to space.
ERIC
That’s wonderful to hear Freddy. Now where were we?
JOSH
(Trailing off as he awaits an answer)
Well Since you don’t work for the government, and you’re clearly not Time Lords…
ERIC
Well I’m not exactly at liberty to say. That’s a call Thug Master will have to make.
EMILY
Can you stop calling him that? We all heard you call him Jonathan earlier.
ERIC
(Pleading)
You weren’t supposed to know that! Please don’t tell him you know!
CLETUS
Why do you call him Thug Master anyway?
ERIC
(Getting flustered)
Well It’s a code name of sorts. Anyway it doesn’t matter, I can’t tell you any of this.
VINCENT
So what can you tell us?
ERIC
Well I can tell you about my last two weeks.
SCENE 14: EXT. PLANUT SPACE PORT – DAY
•Eric’s ship is slowly descending on a landing pad in the space port on Planut, the Squirrel home world.
•It’s an Earth like planet, with the exception that the nature is much bigger here.
•Huge redwood like trees cast shadows over the bustling space port, despite it being in a huge clearing far from any tree.
•The leaves of the trees are an array of Autumn colors.
•One road led away from the space port toward the largest tree of the bunch.
ERIC
(Narrating)
It was about two weeks ago I believe. Thug Master had learned that the Squirrels had recently uncovered an ancient artifact previously thought only to exist in myth. Squirrel legend sates the the Scared Acorn hold unimaginable amounts of power.
JOSH
(Narrating)
Wait, Scared Acorn? That’s not the artifact you were talking about is it?
ERIC
(Narrating, getting flustered)
Yes, yes it is! No please stop interrupting me.
JOSH
(Narrating)
Okay, okay. Sorry.
ERIC
(Narrating)
Yes anyway, after Thug Master heard of KJIPPER’s plan to use the Scared Acorn for a Universal takeover, he immediately sent me to Planut to steal the Scared Acorn.
JOSH
(Narrating)
OK wait one more question.
ERIC
(Narrating)
Alright fine, what is it?
JOSH
(Narrating)
What the hell is a Kjipper?
EMILY
(Narrating)
Yeah, I think that would really help your story.
ERIC
(Narrating)
Ah yes of course. Kjipper is the blood thirsty manic King of Planut, the Squirrel home world. Thug Master mentioned earlier.
EMILY
(Narrating)
Oh right, cause that makes sense.
FREDERICK
(Narrating)
Can we just let the man finish his story?
ERIC
(Narrating)
Thank you Freddy, now where was I?
•Eric’s ship finally lands, he exits and is greeted by GENERAL OBERON who was wearing a purple military sash covered in medals and has all black fur.
ERIC
(Trailing off with a hand extended for a shake)
Good day General um…
GENERAL OBERON
(Shaking Eric’s hand)
The name is Oberon, but you can just call me The General.
ERIC
Ah alright then. So how exactly does this work?
GENERAL OBERON
(Pointing towards the large tree at the end of the road)
We’ll be going to the capital of Planut, Ekom City. There you will attend meetings asking for peace from King Kjipper.
•General Oberon leads Eric to a strange looking car like vehicle.
•They take it down that one lonely road, away from the space port and towards Ekom City on the other end.
•Ekom City exists inside of the enormous hallowed out tree.
•Ekom should be a prime example of nature and technology working together, with much of the original tree still in tact, just reinforced with steel.
•Ekom is composed of many floors, and is like a massive skyscraper where are your needs are confined in one place.
ERIC
(Narrating)
Luckily Thug Master wasn’t the only one who had heard about the Squirrel’s find. All the races of the Universe had ambassadors there for an Interplanetary peace conference. Being the only human on Planut, it was easy to take up the role of Earth’s ambassador as cover. My escort informed me that he was Thug Master’s contact on Planut, code named The General, and that he would help me locate the scared Acorn during the two week long conference.
SCENE 15: INT. PRIVATE MEETING HALL - EKOM CITY - DAY
•Eric is now in a massive meeting hall somewhere within Ekom.
•It is the size of a large conference room.
•There are no windows in this room, all of the light is artificial.
•He is surrounded by ten other aliens, one for each of the races of the Universe.
•They are seated in a semi-circle, with one seat station in from of the eleven others being reserved for Kjipper, and a table between all of them.
•The ambassadors in order from left to right, Tasers are the gray and green aliens that abducted the Fredrickson’s in SCENE 4.
•Their ambassador is the one who’s eye was cut through by Frederick, his dead eye appearing to glare at onlookers with spite.
•Casdar’s are humanoid cat people, their ambassador being an all white, very fluffy “fancy” female cat.
•Armismen look exactly like humans except that they have four arms, and an extended ribcage to support them. The Armisman ambassador looked like a news anchor with short neatly kept black hair, and even a four armed suit.
•Dogens are humanoid dog aliens, their ambassador being a hound dog.
• Reptos are a race of humanoid reptiles, their ambassador being a bearded dragon.
• Tauru’s are a race of minotaur aliens or humanoid bulls, their ambassador has his horns shaven down to stubs as a sign of peace, and he is wearing blue sunglasses to prevent himself from seeing the color red.
• Sasquatches are exactly what they sound like, their ambassador had his hair pulled back in a pony tail, and he was wearing tight fitting pants and long sleeveless robe, both made of light colorful material.
•Piscthyes are humanoid fish aliens, with neck gills, webbed hands and feet. The Piscthyien ambassador is a bass fish, and he is wearing a water filled globe over his head with a speaker mounted on his chest so others can hear him.
• Vingrates are sentient plant like aliens, their ambassador being a sort of humanoid cactus.
•Biras are humanoid bird aliens, their ambassador being a pigeon wearing a monocle.
•Eric is seated on the far right.
•Montage through multiple meetings, all of which have Kjipper’s seat is filled with a rotating cast of his aids, but never Kjipper himself.
•All of the ambassadors should be yelling at each other and especially at Kjipper’s aids. Even Eric has a few shouting matches or two.
ERIC
(Narrating)
The first week and a half of meetings had no Kjipper, and virtually no hope of peace. Shouts of anger filed our meeting hall as Kjipper’s aids feebly tried to explain his absence. Each passing day without Kjipper only brought more anger.
SCENE 16: ERIC’S PRIVTE ROOM – EKOM CITY – NIGHT
•A tiny room made to suit a squirrel, not a human.
•Wooden everything, bed, chairs, desk. But also infused with technology, including a touch screen computer built right in with the desk.
•A small window let in a few traces of light from Planut’s tiny moon.
•Eric was using the computer to have a secure video chat with General Oberon, who’s location can’t be made out.
ERIC
(Narrating)
My nights were spent trading information with The General. I would tell him about my pointless meetings, and he would tell me of his failure to locate the Scared Acorn. And it appeared that Kjipper was nowhere to be found according to his staff. Oberon and I other knew that if we found one, the other would be close behind.
SCENE 17: INT. EKOM MEETING HALL – DAY
•All of the Ambassadors are talking amongst themselves as they wait for Kjipper’s empty seat to be filled by another aid so that they can start the meeting.
•After a few moments of waiting the door finally opens and Kjipper enters,calmly making his way toward his seat with a slight smile on his face.
•Everyone stops talking to track his progress across the room.
•Kjipper’s fur is a golden orange color, and he is wearing a gold crown and sash.
ERIC
(Narrating)
Finally about mid-way through the second week of peace meetings, Kjipper casually strolls into the meeting. Five minutes late even!
•Kjipper took his seat and announced.
KJIPPER
(Shouting over nothing)
I Kjipper, call this Interplanetary Peace Conference to order.
•Kjipper scans the ambassadors, finally looking towards Eric last, and pausing his gaze on him.
KJIPPER
I didn’t expect to see any humans here. I thought you were all still struggling to leave your own galaxy.
ERIC
(Nervously laughing)
Yes well I’m one of the few humans that can’t travel throughout the Universe, and I heard about the meeting so I thought it was me or no one for Earth.
KJIPPER
Oh yes I remember you. You were the one involved in the Sasquatch incident a few years back. One of Thug Master’s lackeys yes?
ERIC
Surly my past can’t have baring on this meeting of peace?
SASQUATCHE AMBASSADOR
It’s true, we have pardoned Eric.
KJIPPER
At the insistence of his shadowy benefactor I’m sure.
ERIC
(Gulping)
I’m not sure what you’re talking about.
KJIPPER
Please Eric, let’s drop the pretenses. I know why you’re really here, and I know it was Thug Master who sent you. I know all about his little group and that’s why I’m going after Earth first. I’ll cut off the head of Paradigm Shift,
•Kjipper then turns to the rest of the ambassadors.
KJIPPER (CONT’D)
(Pointing at the ambassadors)
And then I’ll be after the rest of you.
TASAR AMBASSADOR (FIBRO)
Please Kjipper, no one wants to fight you.
KJIPPER
Don’t you lecture me Fibro, your entire race has committed more acts of violence and degradation against lesser evolved species then any other race in this room. Let’s not forget how you lost that eye.
CASDAR AMBASSADOR
What is it you want Kjipper? Why volunteer to host this meeting if you’re not willing to talk with us?
KJIPPER
Oh I bet you’d just love to stick your claws into me you fluffy bitch!
•The ambassadors let out a collective gasp, none louder then the Casdar ambassador’s.
KJIPPER (CONT’D)
You really wanna know why I’m hosting this meeting? It’s so I could prepare my armada for war right under your noses!
SASQUATCHE AMBASSADOR
(Standing up so fast that his chair flies across the room)
Kjipper this is an outrage!
KJIPPER
Oh you think that’s outrageous?
•Squirrel soldiers swarm into the room and begin arresting ambassadors.
•A few tried to resist and fight back, but they were quickly out numbered.
SCENE 18: INT. LITTLE BOX - SPACE
VINCENT
So wait, you were arrested?
ERIC
Yep. More then a little ruffed up too.
JOSH
So how’d you escape?
ERIC
Ah well Oberon helped me slip out unnoticed. It was easy as most of the military had left with Kjipper in his armada fleet. It was fairly uneventful.
•Thug Master emerges from the other room, and takes his seat at the table.
THUG MASTER
(Heaving a heavy sigh before speaking)
I’m afraid our trip isn’t going to be as safe as I promised before.
ERIC
(Concerned)
What do you mean? What did Oberon say?
THUG MASTER
Right now he’s rallying support for a coup against Kjipper, and his forces should be able to intercept Kjipper’s armada within a day or two.
ERIC
Excellent, so where’s the danger?
THUG MASTER
The armada will be at Earth in twenty four hours, and they’ll be passing us in fifteen. I told Oberon that we’ll hold off the armada long enough for his forces to catch up with us.
JOSH
Whoa, whoa wait! We can’t go up against an armada, there’s only seven of us!
EMILY
Yeah! What about all those other aliens Eric was talking about?
THUG MASTER
(Shrugging his shoulders)
We have no choice, Kjipper is moving much faster then we anticipated. The other races could take weeks to prepare for war, Earth will be doomed by that time.
VINCENT
(Angry)
That’s all you have to say?! You just put us all in danger without even asking us about it first!
THUG MASTER
It was either risk your lives, or lose countless others on Earth. You just happened to be the lesser of two evils.
VINCENT
I would have never gotten on this ship if I knew I’d be sucked into some retarded space war that has nothing to do with me.
THUG MASTER
Why did you get on this ship? No one forced you. No one said we weren’t going into war, so why?
VINCENT
I dunno, I guess it was a rare opportunity, being on a space ship and all.
THUG MASTER
About as rare as the opportunity to save the world is. You know Earth, your home planet that has quite a bit to do with you.
VINCENT
(Trailing off)
I know but…
THUG MASTER
Look we’d drop you off first, but there’s just no time. Kjipper is moving much faster then we had anticipated.
JOSH
I wanna defend the Earth as much as the next guy, but Vincent’s right. This is a suicide mission!
ERIC
Yes I was just about to bring that point up.
THUG MASTER
There will be a plan, we’re not not just gonna attack the Squirrel armada without some sort of plan.
•Thug Master get up, and walks over to the control panel as he speaks.
THUG MASTER (CONT’D)
But until then everyone will need to get some rest.
•He pushes some buttons on the control panel, and seven doors materialize along the wall with the control panel.
THUG MASTER
I’ll wake you in time for the attack, have a good rest.
•Thug Master then enters his room, and the door closes and disappears back into the wall.
EMILY
(Speaking to Eric)
Does he really know what he’s doing?
ERIC
(Reassuring)
Well he’s been in more then his fair share of tough situations. I’m sure he’ll get us safely out of this one.
FREDERICK
I dunno what you pansy’s are worried about, this is gonna be awesome!
CLETUS
I know right! Space battles, killin’ aliens. What more could a guy ask for?
ERIC
That’s the spirit! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take Thug Master’s advice and get some sleep.
•Eric then enters his room, with his door also disappearing into the wall like Thug Master’s.
FREDERICK
(Getting up from his chair)
Well I dunno ‘bout you Cletus, but resting up before a big fight sounds like a grade a idea to me.
CLETUS
(Following Frederick’s lead towards the doors)
I’m with you there bro.
•They both enter doors next to each other, leaving only three doors.
JOSH
(Standing to leave)
Well I guess I’ll turn in as well. It’s been a very long day, and I don’t exactly have much else to do.
•Josh enters his room, leaving Vincent and Emily alone.
•Vincent and Emily stare awkwardly at each other for a few moments, before Emily broke the ice.
EMILY
(Concerned)
So are you really that afraid?
VINCENT
Well it is really scary isn’t it? I mean I don’t know how big an armada is, but it’s probably a hell of a lot bigger then what we have.
EMILY
Well just think, if we just stayed on Earth we would probably just die tomorrow, without ever knowing what hit us. But here we have a chance to save them.
VINCENT
(Glumly)
But we could still die.
EMILY
(Trying to be cheerful)
Yeah, but at least here we know it’s coming!
VINCENT
True, but how exactly does that help?
EMILY
Easy, it gives you the perfect chance to cross things off your bucket list!
VINCENT
(Giving a halfhearted laugh)
You mean besides flying around space?
•Emily places her hand on top of Vincent’s.
EMILY
(Smiling)
I think you know exactly what I mean.
SCENE 19: INT. LITTLE BOX - EMILY’S ROOM – SPACE
•It’s a small room, housing only a bed and a closet bathroom, with a window showing space outside.
•The rainbow walls in here are dimmed down to a sort of night light glow.
•The scene starts with Vincent and Emily falling down onto the bed together while passionately making out.
•They stop making out long enough to undress, tops first before they continue making out while blindly fumbling with their pants.
•Emily then pushed Vincent down, and straddled him.
•Vincent gazed up at her in stupid bliss.
VINCENT
I’ve been in love with you for a long time now.
EMILY
I know you have. Ya big dummy.
•They kiss.
SCENE 20: INT. LITTLE BOX - JOSH’S ROOM – SPACE
•This room has the same layout as Emily’s room.
•Josh is lying peacefully in bed when he is awaken by Emily and Vincent’s love making in the next room.
•He slowly sits up and glares in the direction of the noise.
JOSH
Jeez, on a fucking space ship and the walls are still too fucking thin.
•He lays back down, and covers his head with his pillow.
PART 3: DEFEAT
SCENE 21: INT. LITTLE BOX - FREDERICK’S ROOM – SPACE
•Frederick’s room is just like the other two.
•He is sprawled across the bed, clad only in his underwear, and snoring loudly.
•The rainbow walls have grown brighter to signify morning.
•Eric comes rushing into his room, with Cletus close behind him.
ERIC
(Shaking Frederick)
Freddy please, you’ve got to wake up!
CLETUS
Here, let me try.
•Cletus pushes Eric aside.
CLETUS
(Shouting)
Frederick wake up! The cops are here!
•Frederick blindly threw himself from the bed, shouting as he did so.
FREDERICK
(Shouting)
Ah shit! Flush everything! Hide the guns! Where’s my pants?!
CLETUS
(Kneeling down next to Frederick)
Fred, Fred, calm down! I was just messin’, there’s no cops. We’re not even at home, remember?
FREDERICK
(Groggily angry)
Aw, what the fuck, you almost gave me a heart attack.
•Frederick then punched Cletus in the face, sending him to the floor.
•Eric comes to Frederick’s side.
ERIC
Freddy please calm yourself! The cops might not be here, but this is still an emergency!
FREDERICK
(Fully awake now)
Why? What happened?! What’s going on?
ERIC
The Squirrel’s are here, and I need to get on Kjipper’s ship. It’s going to be dangerous and well…Well I was wondering if you like to come with me?
FREDERICK
Little buddy, I was born ready.
SCENE 22: EXT. OUTER SPACE
•The Squirrel armada can be seen looming over Eric’s Little Box ship.
•There is at least five large armada ships, the largest ship (Kjipper’s) leading the pack.
•The Little Box draws ever closer to the armada, until it eventually slams right into the side of Kjipper’s ship.
SCENE 23: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP – BRIDGE - SPACE
•Kjipper sit on a huge throne in the back of the bridge, overlooking all of his soldiers busy in the terminal pit below him, and the huge window looking out into space.
•A squirrel with reddish gray fur wearing a highly decorated sash similar to the one Kjipper wore came running urgently up to the throne.
GENERAL KRONOS
(Worried)
Sir we’ve been hit by something!
KJIPPER
(Pissed)
What?! By who?!
GENERAL KRONOS
The scanners seem to think it was a meteor.
KJIPPER
Any damage?
GENERAL KRONOS
Severe damage to the base of the ship. I’ll send the repair crew in once my team clears the area.
KJIPPER
Yes alright. Tell the rest of the fleet to hold here till the repairs are complete.
GENERAL KRONOS
(Bowing)
Yes majesty.
SCENE 24: INT. LITTLE BOX - FREDERICK’S ROOM - SPACE
•Everyone has been thrown to the ground by the impact.
•The rainbow walls have all turned an alarming red color, and a pricing SIREN began going off.
FREDERICK
(Moaning, and holding a hand to his head)
Did we just land?
ERIC
(Quickly getting up and heading for the door)
That’s our cue Freddy, time to go.
FREDERICK
(Shouting over the siren)
Well hey wait, I still need my pants!
SCENE 25: INT. LITTLE BOX - SPACE
•Thug Master bursts out of his room in a rage as Eric reaches the ladder.
THUG MASTER
(Shouting)
What the hell was that?
ERIC
(Also shouting)
Sorry Jonathan, the Squirrels have arrived well ahead of schedule and I had to make a few executive decisions so to speak.
THUG MASTER
(Pleading)
Please do not tell me you crashed us into one of the armada ships.
ERIC
Kjipper’s ship specifically.
•Thug Master has a dumbfounded look on his face, and is about to say something before being interrupted by Frederick bursting into the room.
FREDERICK
(Still fumbling with the buttons on his overalls)
Okay I admit I lied before, but I am defiantly ready now!
•Thug Master glares angrily at Frederick for a few moments before turning his gaze back to Eric.
ERIC
Me and Freddy here are going to steal the Scared Acorn. That was the original plan correct?
THUG MASTER
Things have changed Eric.
ERIC
They certainly have my friend, that why I’m going to need you to provide a diversion for us.
•Eric motions for Frederick to come over to the ladder.
ERIC
Just type “Screw” into the control panel a few minutes after we leave.
•Frederick starts climbing the ladder, and Eric turns to follow him when Thug Master places a hand on his shoulder.
ERIC
Please Jonathan, this is our best chance at this point.
THUG MASTER
(Handing Eric two futuristic looking guns)
I just thought you should have these.
ERIC
Well these look nice.
THUG MASTER
Plasmas always do.
•Eric takes the guns, and salutes Thug Master.
ERIC
In case I don’t see you again, it’s been an honor.
THUG MASTER
(Saluting back)
Good luck Eric.
FREDERICK
(Calling down from the top of the ladder)
Hurry up Eric, it’s crazy out here!
ERIC
Well I gotta go, please do wait a few minutes before typing screw in.
•Eric disappears up the ladder, and Thug Master turns to see Josh, Emily, Vincent, and Cletus standing there staring at him, waiting for him to do something.
•Vincent and Emily clung to each other, it was no secret what they did last night.
CLETUS
So hey, do we get fancy cool guns too?
THUG MASTER
Probably, but not yet.
JOSH
Aw jip!
•Thug Master made his way over to the control panel, and made the walls of the ship invisible once more.
•Eric and Frederick can be seen just out side the ship, blasting away the few squirrels still left after their crash landing.
•They can then be seen running down a long hallway, and turning the corner at the end.
•Thug Master stared after them for a few moments longer before turning back to the control panel.
THUG MASTER
(Speaking to himself)
That should be enough time for them.
VINCENT
So uh, what’s going on exactly?
•Thug Master begins typing “Screw” into the control panel.
JOSH
Yeah, what’s the plan?
THUG MASTER
I’ll let you know once I figure it out.
•Thug Master pushes enter on the control panel.
SCENE 26: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP – BRIDGE - SPACE
•General Kronos runs urgently up to the throne from the terminal pit.
GENERAL KRONOS
Sir, I’ve just received word from my team. Eric, the ambassador from Earth is aboard the ship with another human!
KJIPPER
What?! Where are they now? What are they doing?!
GENERAL KRONOS
I don’t know sir, I’ve lost all contact with my team. I fear the worst.
KJIPPER
Blast them… Sound the alarm!
•But before Kronos could respond a nearby violent explosion throws everyone to the ground, even knocking Kjipper from his throne.
•Power goes out all over the bridge.
KJIPPER
(Without bothering to get up)
Fucking humans!
SCENE 27: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP – ELEVATOR - SPACE
•Eric and Frederick are riding an elevator up to the top of the ship.
•The elevator is very wide, circular in shape, and made entirely of clear glass.
•The elevator moves incredibly fast, floors can be seen whipping past as they go up.
•Eric is reloading their guns while Frederick babbles on excitedly.
FREDERICK
Oh man that was awesome! Did you see their scared little squirrel faces? They knew I wasn’t givin’ out any mercy today.
ERIC
(Disappointed)
Yes, but sadly they were able to warn Kjipper of our presence.
FREDERICK
I dunno ‘bout you little buddy, but I ain’t gonna die today.
•Eric smiles at him for a moment, and he’s about to say something before being interrupted by the same explosion from SCENE 26.
•They were both knocked over by the blast.
•A huge crack appears down the side of the elevator as it slows to a screeching stop.
SCENE 28: EXT. OUTER SPACE
•The section of Kjipper’s ship that the Little Box crashed into has gone dead, with most of the lights in that section of the ship flickering on and off, and bits of debris floating all around the impact zone.
•Kjipper’s ship along with the rest of the armada has come to a stop to investigate the impact.
•Suddenly the Little Box elongates itself rapidly, further ripping through Kjipper’s ship.
•The Little Box grows until it is the length of Kjipper’s ship, but the changes don’t stop there. It continues to change shape and transform until it resembles a large war ship in the shape of a flat-head screwdriver.
•The cockpit/bridge is located in the tip of the screwdriver. The handle is composed of four massive engines. Large wings jutted out from the sides of the handle and the entire ship was littered with turrets.
•By the time this massive new ship had formed, Kjipper’s ship is in tatters. Only the upper and middle sections remained in tact.
•This was the “explosion” referenced in SCENES 26 and 27.
SCENE 29: INT. KIJPPER’S ARMADA SHIP – BRIDGE - SPACE
•The squirrels are all still dazed, and picking themselves up off the ground.
GENERAL KRONOS
(Shouting)
Someone get auxiliary power on now! I want to know what caused this.
•Nearby squirrels scrambled to follow his orders.
KJIPPER
Kronos we need the Scared Acorn.
GENERAL KRONOS
But sir it’s too soon.
KJIPPER
Now Kronos!
•Their interrupted by one of the squirrel soldiers.
SQUIRREL SOLDIER
(Pointing toward the window)
Sire look!
•They both turned to look out the window, and were greeted with the sight of the Screwdriver ship.
KJIPPER
(Under his breath, almost in awe)
Thug Master…
•Then the backup power came on, lighting up the terminal pit and what remained of the ship.
•Kronos was still staring at the screwdriver in slack jawed amazement when he spoke.
GENERAL KRONOS
I’ll take you to the acorn now sir.
KJIPPER
Yes, let us hurry.
SCENE 30: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP – ELEVATOR - SPACE
•Eric and Frederick sat up groaning.
•They are in the dark due to the power out.
•The elevator is stuck in between floors.
FREDERICK
Urhh, what the fuck was that?
ERIC
That was our distraction. I just wish that Thug Master could have waited till we were out of the elevator.
FREDERICK
(Pointing towards the top of the elevator)
Well hey look, we’re in between floors, let’s just climb up to the next one.
ERIC
(Looking up at the hatch on the roof)
Oh I dunno Freddy, it’s so far away.
FREDERICK
(Cupping his hands out in front of him)
Pffth, come on I’ll give you a boost.
ERIC
(Placing his foot into Frederick’s hands)
Well alright, let’s give it a try.
•Frederick launches Eric into the air rapidly, almost causing them both to lose balance.
•Eric frantically clutches the handle to the hatch to help keep his balance.
ERIC
Whoa steady!
FREDERICK
Sorry, you’re a lot lighter then I expected.
ERIC
Yes well I do try to watch my weight. Now where were we?
•Eric goes to give the handle a turn when the power is suddenly restored to the ship.
•The jerks a little, causing Eric and Frederick to fall on top of each other.
•The elevator starts to jerkily move up, gradually picking up it’s previous speed.
•The crack in the glass slowly grows bigger as they go higher.
•Eric and Frederick pick themselves up as the elevator begins to slow, preparing to stop at the topmost level.
FREDERICK
I hate fucking elevators.
ERIC
(Pointing towards the growing crack in the elevator)
And it looks like this one hates you back.
FREDERICK
(Staring fearfully at the crack)
Holy shit! What do we do?!
ERIC
(Reassuringly)
Just stay calm, and don’t make any sudden movements. We should be arriving at our floor shortly.
•The elevator slows to a stop on the bridge level of the ship, on the opposite end of the ship from the actual bridge.
•As soon as the doors slide open, Frederick grabbed Eric around the waist, and leaped off of the elevator.
•Eric let’s out an OOOOF as Frederick grabbed him.
•Frederick’s leap was the last straw for the elevator as it broke apart, falling down the nearly endless shaft, banging against the walls as it fell.
SCENE 31: INT. LITTLE BOX / SCREWDRIVER COCKPIT - SPACE
•A long window stretched across the front of the ship.
•Rows of computer terminals lined the wall underneath of the window.
•At the back of the cockpit, one lone door marked the only way out of the cockpit.
•An array of cabinets lined both sides of the cockpit, labeled with things like “Weapons”, “First Aid”, “Tech” etc.
•The walls were the same ever changing rainbow pattern as they were in the Little Box.
•Emily, Josh, Vincent, Cletus, and Thug Master stood around in the middle of the cavernous cockpit.
•They looked bewildered as they took in their new surroundings.
•Thug Master rushes to the window , and sees the carnage that was Kjipper’s war ship.
THUG MASTER
(Amazed)
Shit…
CLETUS
What in the hell was that?
JOSH
(Looking around and admiring)
I dunno, but I’m defiantly liking the new setup.
VINCENT
(Excited)
Hey check it out, guns!
•Emily, Josh, and Cletus gather around Vincent at the weapons cabinet, going through all of it’s contents.
•Thug Master turned from the window, and stared down at a nearby computer terminal.
THUG MASTER
Computer.
•The hologram of Eric from SCENE 10 materializes behind Thug Master.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Why hello there Thug Master! What can I do for you today?
THUG MASTER
What are we on right now?
•A rotating hologram of the Screwdriver appears at chest height in between Thug Master and Hologram Eric.
THUG MASTER
(Slightly confused)
A screwdriver?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Yes, Eric designed it just last night as everyone slept. Apparently he made it as a tribute to a friend of his, who is a big Dr. Who fan.
THUG MASTER
What? But that’s not what Dr. Who’s screwdriver looks like… Ah, never mind. What kind of weaponry do we have on this thing?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Pointing his thumb over his shoulder at the others)
Well there’s all manner of weapons in that cabinet over there.
THUG MASTER
Anything bigger?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Pointing at cannons mounted on the wings, base, and tip of the screwdriver as he spoke)
Well we do have plasma cannons mounted here, here, and here.
•The cannons in the hologram light up as Hologram Eric mentioned them.
THUG MASTER
Excellent. Now how do we operate them?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Motioning towards a computer terminal with a large screen, a mounted swiveling chair, and two joystick like triggers)
Well since you seem to be understaffed at the moment, I suggest using this terminal here to aim all of the cannons at one target.
THUG MASTER
Okay that works. Now you’re the autopilot right?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Yes, quite right.
•Suddenly a series of blasts strike the Screwdriver, prompting an alarm to sound, and the walls to turn red.
THUG MASTER
(Shouting at the hologram as he runs towards to others)
Defensive maneuvers now! And turn that damn alarm off.
•The alarm goes silent as Thug Master reaches the others.
•The walls remain red though.
CLETUS
Whoa, what happened?
THUG MASTER
Does anyone here play first person shooters?
JOSH
(Tentatively stepping forward)
Well I’m pretty good at them.
THUG MASTER
(Pointing towards the computer terminal that aims all of the cannons)
Great, now go over there and show me how good. The computer will teach you how to use it.
JOSH
(Skeptically)
Um, okay?
THUG MASTER
(Shouting)
Well hurry up, we’re under attack!
•Josh hurries toward the computer terminal Thug Master pointed at.
THUG MASTER
Alright, the rest of you just stay nearby till I can figure things out.
•Thug Master heads back towards the front of the cockpit, barking orders at Eric’s hologram.
EMILY
So who wants to explore the rest of the new ship with me?
VINCENT
Anything to be with you.
EMILY
(Playfully shocked)
Vincent!
CLETUS
Are you guys crazy?! I ain’t explorin’ nothin’ till Frederick comes back!
EMILY
(Sincere)
Aw, you must really be worried about him.
CLETUS
(Tears forming in his eyes as he talks)
Shut up! Don’t make fun of me! I’m not worried about him because Frederick is biggest bad ass I know, and there ain’t nothin’ no Squirrel could do to stop him!
EMILY
(Apologetic)
Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.
CLETUS
(Still teary eyed)
Forget it! Go explore all you want! Why would you care about Frederick anyway?
•Cletus then turns and joins Thug Master and Josh at the front of the cockpit.
EMILY
(Looking after Cletus)
That was so sad…
•Vincent just looks down on her with concern.
EMILY
Do you think we should stay?
VINCENT
(Almost pleading her to agree with him)
Why should we? I mean there’s nothing we’d be able to accomplish here, and Cletus is right, we don’t really care what happens to Frederick.
EMILY
(Defensive)
Speak for yourself, I think Frederick is hilarious and fun to be around. I’d be really upset if he died and I only just met him yesterday.
VINCENT
Well even so, we’re not any help to him up here.
EMILY
(Sarcastically)
But banging in some spare room on a space ship, totally helping.
VINCENT
Well I bet that if we traded places, Frederick would probably choose banging over staying any day.
•Emily giggled at the thought of this.
EMILY
(Still giggling)
Yes he would.
VINCENT
(Leaning in to kiss Emily on the cheek)
So what do you say beautiful? Shall we do a Frederick?
EMILY
(Laughing hysterically)
Oh my God, don’t ever call it that again!
•They exit the cockpit, arm in arm.
SCENE 32: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP - BRIDGE LEVEL CORRIDOR - SPACE
•Eric is kneeling over a computer terminal, as Frederick nervously hovers over his shoulder while glancing up every once and awhile looking for squirrels.
•The corridor they’re in is immensely long, stretching out in either direction seemingly forever.
•Far off shouts echoed towards them from some unseen location, making Frederick increasingly nervous.
FREDERICK
Hurry up will ya. We’re sitting ducks out here.
ERIC
(Without looking away from the screen)
Just hold on a bit longer, we can’t leave till we know where we’re going.
FREDERICK
What are we looking for again? I don’t think you ever told me.
ERIC
(Still staring intently at the monitor)
It’s a giant glowing acorn.
FREDERICK
(Surprised)
What?! Really?
ERIC
Well that’s what I’m told, I haven’t actually seen it myself.
FREDERICK
And so we gotta steal this acorn thing? What’s it do?
ERIC
Well I don’t know that either, but it’s very powerful as I understand it.
•Eric stares at the screen for a few more moments before he finally finds what he’s looking for.
ERIC
(Excited)
Ah ha! Here it is, just around the corner from us. Let’s be off Freddy.
FREDERICK
Finally.
•They run down the corridor together, Eric leading the way with Frederick close behind.
•They come to an intersection and take a right.
•The ship becomes a blur as they make their way through it, turning every which way, following Eric’s lead.
•They turn down another corridor and see two squirrels guarding a doorway in the distance.
•The squirrels haven’t noticed them yet, and the duck behind a corner to formulate a plan.
FREDERICK
So what’s the plan?
ERIC
We need to get into that room, so I think…
FREDERICK
(Cutting Eric off)
Got it.
•Frederick charges towards the squirrels, yelling and pulling out his plasma gun as he did so.
•The squirrels panic, and fumble with their guns as Frederick draws nearer.
•Eric races after Frederick, drawing his own plasma gun.
ERIC
Dammit Freddy!
SQUIRREL SOLDIER
Humans! Shoot them!
•The squirrels fire off several shots towards the charging Frederick, but he dives out of the way just in time.
•Frederick got one shot off as he flew through the air, hitting the nearest squirrel in the leg, sending him to the ground clutching the gaping wound and howling in pain.
•The remaining squirrel, shocked by his friend injury took aim at Frederick.
•His head is blown off by Eric before he can pull the trigger, his body slumping to the ground next to the wounded squirrel.
•Eric helps Frederick up, and the two advance on the remaining squirrel.
•The wounded squirrel cried out in dismay, and began taking pot shots at Eric and Frederick.
•They quickly take cover behind a near by computer terminal on the opposite side of the corridor from the fallen squirrel,
•The wounded squirrel concentrated all of his shots at it, stopping only to reload.
ERIC
What a bother, why can’t he just give up?
FREDERICK
We need to flank ‘em. You can run fast right?
ERIC
You just want me to run out there into that? It’s raining plasma blasts out there!
FREDERICK
(Smiling, and placing a hand on Eric’s shoulder)
Don’t worry little buddy, I’ll cover you.
•Frederick gets into position to lay cover fire and glances over at Eric.
FREDERICK
Ready?
ERIC
(Gulping)
As I’ll ever be.
•Frederick starts firing rapidly as Eric dashes out from behind the computer terminal.
•The fallen squirrel tries to shoot Eric, but his injury makes it nearly impossible to turn. So he instead just focuses on Frederick.
•While Frederick and the squirrel exchange fire, Eric is able to sneak up on the squirrel.
•The squirrel hears Eric behind him and turns to shoot, but Eric is faster, the squirrel slumps to the ground headless.
ERIC
Alright Freddy, he’s down for the count.
FREDERICK
Nice! Great job little buddy! Now let’s get this special acorn thing.
ERIC
Yes, lets.
•Eric pushes a button next to the door, and it slides open.
SCENE 33: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP - ACORN ROOM - SPACE
•It’s a small, nearly barren room except for a high tech pedestal sitting in the center of the room.
•The pedestal was made for the Scared Acorn, but now it holds nothing.
•Propped up against the pedestal were the headless bodies of the squirrel guards Frederick and Eric just killed.
•The wall behind the pedestal had a large window in it, that framed the Screwdriver.
•The door slides open to revel Kjipper and General Kronos.
•Kjipper rushes to the pedestal in distress, as Kronos follows slowly and calmly behind.
•Kjipper drops to his knees in front of the empty pedestal, taking care to avoid the corpses.
KJIPPER
(Wailing)
No! They took it! It’s all over!
•Kjipper turns a hateful eye toward Kronos.
KJIPPER
(Spiteful)
Why were there only two guards on this door Kronos? Why?!
GENERAL KRONOS
(Pointing out the window toward the Screwdriver)
Don’t worry sire, they haven’t gone far.
•Kjipper stared out the window for a few moments as he too this information in and collected himself.
•Kjipper got to his feet, and brushed himself off.
KJIPPER
Let’s finish this Kronos.
SCENE 34: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP - BRIDGE LEVEL CORRIDOR - SPACE
•Eric and Frederick run down the corridor, looking out for escape pods or a hanger.
•Eric is clutching the Scared Acorn.
•It’s looks just like a normal acorn except it is the size of a large water melon, and faintly glows with a golden light.
FREDERICK
So what exactly was our exit strategy?
ERIC
Alright I admit that a bit more planning would have been nice, but I really didn’t have the luxury of time.
FREDERICK
That’s all fine and good, but how ‘bout some more last minute planning for getting out of here?
•They run out into an intersection in the corridor, where they are seen by a group of five squirrel soldiers coming from around the corner from Eric and Frederick.
•The two groups stared each other down for several moments before one of the squirrels shouted out.
SQUIRREL SOLDIER
They have the Scared Acorn!
SQUIRREL SOLDIER #2
What?! Get them!
ERIC
I believe it’s time to back track Freddy.
•Frederick and Eric turn around and start running as the squirrels give chase.
FREDERICK
(Pointing towards the nearest door)
In there!
•Eric dives into the room, and Frederick blasts the door controls as he joins him.
SCENE 35: INT. SCREWDRIVER – COCKPIT - SPACE
•Josh has already managed to disable one of the armada ships, and is halfway to taking out a second one.
•Cletus cheers him on as he tries not to worry about Frederick.
•He’s so into shooting that he almost misses the small personal craft headed towards the Screwdriver.
JOSH
(Pausing his trigger finger long enough to point the ship out)
Hey Cletus do you see that?
CLETUS
(Excited)
Oh shit! Do you think it’s Fred?!
•Thug Master walks up to them.
THUG MASTER
Why’d they stop shooting?
•Josh returned to the controls and noticed that the armada ships did indeed stop shooting.
•Cletus pointed excitedly towards the approaching ship.
CLETUS
Check it out! Do you think it could be Fred?
THUG MASTER
Computer, open a com channel with that ship.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Materializing next to Thug Master as the com channel opens up on a large center monitor)
Certainly!
•The com channel comes up black, and soon turns to static.
THUG MASTER
What’s going on?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Well that normally only happens if they refuse the call.
•The approaching ship disappeared out of view underneath the Screwdriver.
THUG MASTER
Track it.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
It seems to be heading towards the docking bay.
THUG MASTER
This thing has a docking bay?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Shall I lead the way?
THUG MASTER
(As he ran towards the exit)
Yes.
CLETUS
(Chasing after Thug Master)
Hey wait up!
•Thug Master turned back once he reached the door.
THUG MASTER
Josh keep those guns going! I want all those ships outta commission!
•Then he turned and left with Cletus.
SCENE 36: INT. SCREWDRIVER - LOADING DOCK - SPACE
•The loading dock has enough room for about three to four small personal crafts like the one currently approaching the Screwdriver.
•There is a second room connected to the loading dock, with a layout similar to that of a waiting room, with chairs lined up along the walls and iPad looking devices sitting around.
•Vincent and Emily’s clothes are lying around the room haphazardly.
•The two of them lie nude in the center of the room, mid intercourse.
•They’re so involved with each other, that they don’t even notice that a ship has entered the loading dock.
•Their moans rise in intensity before trailing off into panting breaths.
•Vincent rolls off of Emily, lying next to her as the ship finishes docking, and it’s passengers disembark.
EMILY
(Leaning over and kissing Vincent)
That was lovely.
VINCENT
Mmm, your tellin’ me.
•Emily stands and begins to dress herself.
EMILY
We should probably get back to the others.
VINCENT
(Still lying down, watching her dress)
Alright, just gimme a minute.
EMILY
(Rolling her eyes with a playful smile)
Perv.
•Emily was still searching for her panties when Vincent decided to start getting dressed.
•When he stood he noticed Kjipper and Kronos approaching from their ship.
•They saw him through the window too, and began running towards the entrance to the waiting room.
VINCENT
Emily run!
EMILY
(Still pant-less as she searches for her panties)
What? Why?
•Then she turns to see Kjipper and Kronos fast approaching.
EMILY
Shit!
•Emily immediately grabs her pants and bolts from the room, forgoing any chance of finding her panties.
•Vincent follows close behind her in the nude, not even bothering to look for any of his clothes first.
•Kjipper and Kronos plow after them, drawing their plasma weapons from the folds of their fur.
•Emily reached an elevator at the end of a long hallway, and begins to jab the button for it repeatedly.
•Vincent catches up with her, looking back toward the waiting room, expecting the squirrels to appear from anywhere.
VINCENT
(Turning back towards Emily)
No matter what happens, I need you to know that I love you.
EMILY
Don’t talk like that, this elevator is gonna open, and we’ll both be safe!
•The elevator doors open right as Kjipper and Kronos come into the hallway.
•This elevator has a much more traditional elevator design compared to the elevators aboard Kjipper’s ship.
EMILY
(Jumping into the elevator, and then turning to face Vincent)
See I told you!
•Vincent smiled at her as he stepped into the elevator, but it slowly faded as a plasma blast ripped through his chest, covering Emily and the inside of the elevator with blood.
•Vincent’s body slumps forward into Emily’s arms as the elevator doors close behind him before Kjipper and Kronos can reach them.
EMILY
(Screaming and crying in despair)
No! Vincent no!
•Emily’s words of anguish dissolve into sobbing, as Vincent’s blood pools around her.
•Outside of the elevator Kjipper and Kronos discuss their next move.
KJIPPER
Well that went very well don’t you think?
GENERAL KRONOS
The girl got away, now she’ll warn the others.
KJIPPER
Ah but don’t you see, I wanted her to warn them. I need them to fear me, to realize that soon they will all end up like their friend I just blasted.
GENERAL KRONOS
(Bowing)
Yes sire. Shall I ready my team?
KJIPPER
Yes, line them up in front of the elevator, kill anything that comes out of it.
SCENE 37: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP - BRIDGE LEVEL STORAGE ROOM - SPACE
•Eric and Frederick are in a cramped storage room, filled with stacks of advanced computers, and a a variety of weaponry.
•This room did not have the rainbow patterns on it’s walls like the rest of the ship, and as a result the Scared Acorn was the only light source.
•The Squirrels could be heard angrily yapping just outside the door.
FREDERICK
(Looking through the various weapons)
Aw shit! I knew this room would be useful!
ERIC
Yes but you also managed to blast the only door controls. It could take them hours to open it now.
FREDERICK
What, we can’t open it on our end?
ERIC
It’s a storage room, there are no door controls on our end.
FREDERICK
Well shit.
•Eric starts trying to pry the top of the Scared Acorn off, struggling greatly.
FREDERICK
Uh, what ‘cha doin’ there little buddy?
ERIC
(Struggling with the top still, grunting through the conversation)
We need to make sure this thing is gone by the time they open those doors.
FREDERICK
Well what if we get all these weapons together and blast all the squirrels away once they open the door?
ERIC
That’s a good idea, but there’s a lot of risk too. I need to guarantee the the squirrels never get a hand on this again, no matter what happens to us.
FREDERICK
By breaking it apart?
ERIC
No I was going to eat it, but I can’t seem to get this stupid thing off.
FREDERICK
(Taking the Scared Acorn from Eric)
Well that sounds fuckin’ nasty, but I’ll help you out anyway.
•Frederick rips the top off of the Scared Acorn, with just a little straining.
•The room is filled with golden light emanating from the Scared Acorn.
•Eric and Frederick stare at the Scared Acorn in a transfixed daze.
•Frederick slowly reaches into the Scared Acorn, and pulls out a glob of golden glowing goop.
FREDERICK
(Absentmindedly, as if he was in a trance)
Ya know, this doesn’t look so nasty after all…
ERIC
(Absentmindedly like Frederick)
It looks amazing…
SCENE 38: INT. SCREWDRIVER – CORRIDOR - SPACE
•Thug Master and Cletus rush towards an elevator, somewhere within the bowls of the Screwdriver.
•Thug Master is about to press the button for the elevator when he is interrupted by Eric’s hologram materializing beside him.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
My sensors indicated that the cab is already on it’s way up.
THUG MASTER
What?! Who’s on it?!
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Hmm, well let’s see… Oh. Oh my.
THUG MASTER
What? Is it squirrels?
•The doors of the elevator slide open to revel a blood socked Emily sobbing over Vincent’s corpse.
•Her pants lay discarded in the corner of the elevator as she cradled Vincent in her arms.
CLETUS
(Turning away from the elevator)
Aw shit! What the fuck man!
•Thug Master looked slightly shock as he tentatively stepped into the elevator.
THUG MASTER
Is he?
•Emily glared at him through tear filled eyes, and gently placed Vincent’s body on the floor.
EMILY
(Bitter determination)
Give me a weapon.
THUG MASTER
I really don’t think that’s a good idea at this point.
•Her gaze burned through him, until finally Cletus approached the elevator.
CLETUS
I’ve seen that look before, I know there’s only two ways to make that look go away.
•Cletus reaches into his boot and pulls out a large hunting knife, which he then hands to Emily.
CLETUS CONT’D
Revenge is what this little lady needs more then anything else right now.
EMILY
(Taking the knife from Cletus)
Thank you Cletus.
THUG MASTER
Wait, let us help you.
EMILY
Take Vincent if you wanna help. Make sure he get’s a proper burial back on Earth when this is all over.
CLETUS
(Grabbing Vincent’s body by the armpits and pulling him out of the elevator)
Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.
•Thug Master get in the elevator as Cletus drags Vincent out.
THUG MASTER
I’m coming with you.
•Emily glared at him for a moment before speaking.
EMILY
Fine.
•Once Cletus clears Vincent of the elevator, Emily pushes the button to send the elevator back down.
•As the doors were closing, Thug master called out to Cletus.
THUG MASTER
Cletus, you said there were two ways to remove that look.
CLETUS
Get revenge, or die trying.
•The doors then close.
SCENE 39: INT. SCREWDRIVER - LOADING DOCK LEVEL CORRIDOR - SPACE
•Five squirrel soldiers lined up in front of the elevator.
•General Kronos stood in the center of them, waiting to give the kill order.
•Kjipper stood behind everyone, looking on impatiently.
•The doors of the elevator finally open, but aside from all of the blood the elevator appeared to be empty.
KJIPPER
What?! Empty?!
GENERAL KRONOS
I knew Thug Master was too smart to attempt fighting all of us from an elevator.
KJIPPER
So what are we waiting for?! Let’s get in there and take the fight to them!
•Kronos starts to slowly walk towards the elevator as he talks.
GENERAL KRONOS
First I must make sure that Thug Master didn’t booby trap the elevator.
KJIPPER
You think he would do that?
GENERAL KRONOS
I wouldn’t put it past him.
•As Kronos approaches the elevator, Eric’s hologram materializes behind Kjipper.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
You’re not all looking for me are you?
•Kjipper spins around with a gasp.
KJIPPER
(Frantically shouting as he points towards Eric’s hologram)
Here’s the one we’re after, shoot him!
•All of the squirrel soldiers turn around and begin shooting at Eric’s hologram.
•At that same instant Emily and Thug Master come out from around the corners of the elevator, weapons in hand.
•Emily who is now wearing pants, takes Cletus’ hunting knife and plunges it into the neck of General Kronos who’s back was now turned toward the elevator.
•Kronos clutches his neck as he staggers away from Emily.
•Thug Master comes out of the elevator shooting, quickly taking out all of the squirrel soldiers before they could turn back around to face him.
•As Thug Master takes out all of the squirrel soldiers, Emily finishes off Kronos by yanking the hunting knife out of his neck.
•Kronos falls to the ground as blood sprays out from his neck.
EMILY
Is that all of them?
THUG MASTER
I believe so… Wait, computer, where’s Kjipper?
•Eric’s hologram materializes beside Thug Master.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
I’m sorry, I tried to stop him.
THUG MASTER
Where is he?
HOLOGRAM ERIC
He boarded his ship and left during your fire fight.
THUG MASTER
Shit.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
Don’t worry, I took the liberty of placing a tracker on his ship. It looks as though he’s headed back to Planut. Also, I’m receiving and incoming call from General Oberon.
THUG MASTER
Patch him through.
•A two dimensional screen materializes in front of Thug Master.
•On it was General Oberon.
GENERAL OBERON
Thug Master! My forces have just arrived, what’s been going on here?
THUG MASTER
Kronos is dead and Kjipper is on his way back to Planut as we speak. You need to take control of these armada ships and meet us there.
GENERAL OBERON
Wait, you’re going after Kjipper?
THUG MASTER
If we don’t catch him now, there’s no telling what he’ll do.
GENERAL OBERON
Copy that Thug Master.
THUG MASTER
Oh and General, Eric’s aboard what’s left of Kjipper’s armada ship. Make sure he’s alright for me.
GENERAL OBERON
I’ll make it a priority.
THUG MASTER
Thanks General.
•The screen dissolves away.
THUG MASTER
(Being cut off)
Computer.
HOLOGRAM ERIC
(Cutting Thug Master off)
Set a course for Planut? Already done.
PART 4: ENTER THE WERE-SQUIRRELS
SCENE 40: INT. KJIPPER’S ARMADA SHIP - BRIDGE LEVEL CORRIDOR - SPACE
•A group of about seven squirrels are gathered around the door to the storage room in which Eric and Frederick are trapped.
•General Oberon is among them, watching one of the squirrels slowly cutting through the door with a laser cutter.
•Using a remote around his wrist, General Oberon pulls up a hologram screen in order to talk to Eric.
•The screen materializes in front of General Oberon, Eric and Frederick are seen covered in the glowing golden goop from the Scared Acorn.
•Both of them are acting as if they are stoned as they lounge against a stack of crates.
GENERAL OBERON
Eric? It’s me Oberon, we’re gonna get you out of there soon.
FREDERICK
Aw thanks man, you’re an alright squirrel you are.
ERIC
Oh Oberon! You’re here! What’s going on?
GENERAL OBERON
Kjipper fled back to Planut and Thug Master is on his tail.
ERIC
That sounds so exciting!
GENERAL OBERON
Eric what happened to you? What is that you’re covered in?
ERIC
Oh you know, just some, some stuff.
•At that moment the heavy steel door falls down as the squirrel with the laser cutter finishes his work.
•Light streams into the dark storage room, as Eric and Frederick emerge shielding their eyes.
ERIC
So are we going back to Planut as well?
GENERAL OBERON
Not yet, I need to stay here and finish off any Kjipper loyalists. But if you’re in a hurry you can have anything in the hanger.
ERIC
(Saluting)
Thank you General.
GENERAL OBERON
You better hurry if you wanna catch them.
SCENE 41: INT. SCREWDRIVER – COCKPIT - SPACE
•Thug Master and Cletus enter the cockpit carrying a high tech coffin.
•The coffin is all black, with containers of liquid nitrogen strapped to the side, keeping the body inside preserved.
•Emily sulks in behind them.
•Josh who is still in the gunners chair, turns as they enter.
JOSH
Hey the computer told me we were going to Planut now. What happened, was that Eric and Frederick down there?
•Josh notices the coffin as Thug Master and Cletus place in it the back corner of the cockpit.
JOSH
(Fear slipping into his voice as he gets up from his chair)
Is that a coffin? What happened?
•Josh takes a few steps forward before noticing that Vincent wasn’t there.
JOSH
(Gripped with fear)
Wait, where’s Vincent?
•Josh bolts toward the coffin, tears swelling up in his eyes.
•Emily grabs him by the shoulders before he can make it to the coffin.
EMILY
Stop, it’s over. He’s already gone.
•Josh drops to his knees.
JOSH
(Staring at the coffin through teary eyes)
Vincent…
THUG MASTER
We should all get some rest. It’ll be a few hours still before we reach Planut.
•Emily kneels down and helps Josh to his feet.
•They start toward the exit together when Josh turns and embraces Emily in a hug.
•He began sobbing into her shoulder and she soon followed suite.
•Thug Master takes a seat in the captains chair, ignoring the scene behind him.
•Finally with an arm around Josh’s shoulder, Emily leads him out of the cockpit.
•Once they leave Thug Master turns to see Cletus still hanging around.
•Thug Master stared him down until he spoke.
CLETUS
What? I ain’t tired, and I don’t need no rest.
THUG MASTER
Aren’t you upset over the dead kid?
CLETUS
(Jerking his thumb at the coffin)
Who him? I don’t even know that kids name. Serves the horny bastard right ya ask me. I told ‘em not to go explorin’ the ship.
THUG MASTER
So you’re just gonna stay up here then?
CLETUS
Yeah, you got a problem with that fearless leader?
•Thug Master turns around sighing.
THUG MASTER
Just try to keep quite.
SCENE 42: INT. SMALL SQUIRREL MIITARY SHIP – COCKPIT - SPACE
•Eric and Frederick look deathly ill as they ride on autopilot toward Planut.
•They are both very pale and sweaty.
•Eric’s goatee is now fluffier, and small patches of hair cover both Eric and Frederick.
FREDERICK
(Moaning)
Oh, I think eating that acorn was a bad idea.
ERIC
You’re tellin’ me Freddy boy.
FREDERICK
It’s like my entire body is in pain.
•Just then one of the monitors in front of them came to life with Thug Master’s face.
THUG MASTER
Eric?
ERIC
Why Jonathan! We finally caught up with you!
THUG MASTER
Caught up with? You just blew past us.
ERIC
Oh did we? Sorry I suppose I wasn’t paying very close attention.
THUG MASTER
Doesn’t matter, just keep going till you catch up with Kjipper. Speaking of which, did you get the Scared Acorn?
ERIC
Well I can guarantee that no Squirrel will be able to use it again.
THUG MASTER
Excellent. So it’s on aboard with you?
ERIC
Well about that.
THUG MASTER
Eric!
FREDERICK
Look we ate it, and got fucked up stomach aches. So please just drop it and chill, it’s a non-issue now.
•Cletus hears Frederick’s voice and rushes up to the monitor, pushing Thug Master out of the way.
CLETUS
Fred you’re alive!
FREDERICK
‘Course I am stupid. Nothin’ can kill ol’ Frederick.
•Frederick goes into a small coughing spasm.
ERIC
Except maybe a bad acorn apparently.
FREDERICK
(Through coughs)
Fuck you.
•Thug Master pushes Cletus over until they are both crammed together in the monitor.
THUG MASTER
Did you two really eat the Scared Acorn?!
ERIC
Look I knew you’d be mad, but we were cornered. I had to make sure they couldn’t get it back.
THUG MASTER
No Eric, you don’t understand! The acorn it…
•Thug Master is cut off by alarms in Eric and Frederick’s ship.
FREDERICK
(Jumping in his seat as the alarm sounds)
Shit, what is that?!
ERIC
Thug Master I have to go, we’re coming up on Kjipper’s ship.
THUG MASTER
Wait!…
•The monitor went black before Thug Master could finish.
•Outside the window Planet can be seen in the distance, with Kjipper’s ship outlined in front of it.
•As Eric and Frederick draw nearer toward Planut, they slowly begin to change into were-squirrels.
•Their hair grows longer, and more bristly.
•Fingers grow longer, pointy nails.
•Their faces extend out forming a snout of sorts.
FREDERICK
Yeah we’re gainin’ on him.
ERIC
He must not know we’re here.
FREDERICK
Alright we can sneak up on ‘em!
•They maneuver above Kjipper’s ship as they pass Planut’s moon.
FREDERICK
(Bloodthirsty)
Ram ‘em!
ERIC
(Also bloodthirsty)
No, not yet. We gotta wait till it’s perfect.
SCENE 43: EXT. OUTER SPACE/PLANUT - FOREST – SPACE/DAY
•The two ships fly like that for several moments until they eventually enter Planut’s atmosphere.
•Eric and Frederick have now fully transformed into were- squirrels.
•They howled as Eric dove their ship into Kjipper’s ship.
•The two ships get caught on each other, sending they into a spiral as they plummet through the atmosphere.
•After they break through the atmosphere, the two ships break apart over a forest of Planut’s giant trees.
•Kjipper’s ship impales on to the top of one of the giant trees, while Eric and Frederick’s ship falls in between trees, and falls quite far before being caught in some branches just over half way down the tree.
•Eric and Frederick’s ship was beaten to a pulp during it’s fall.
CAPTION
30 minutes later.
•At the tree tops, Kjipper slowly starts to climb out of the ship.
•He consciously made his way out of the cockpit which hung away from the tree as they tail end of the ship was what the tree impaled.
•He glanced toward the tree, took a deep breath, and sprinted on all fours towards the tree.
•Once his claws are in the tree, he heads towards the nearest branch and peeks down at the wreckage of Eric and Frederick’s ship.
KJIPPER
Fuckers.
•He stared down at it for a few more moments before giving a huff and running down the side of the tree on all fours towards the wreckage.
•He got down right next to the wreckage, and stared at it for a few moments.
KJIPPER
Ha! That’s what you get, crashing into me.
•Confident that no one survived the crash, Kjipper turns and climbs down the rest of the tree.
•As he reaches the bottom of the tree, the wreckage begins to shift and move among the branches until it falls to the ground near Kjipper.
•Kjipper shields his face as the wreckage sends dust and debris flying outward from it’s impact site.
KJIPPER
(Trailing off)
Ha, missed again you…
•Kjipper trails off as he notices that the wreckage was still moving slightly.
•It begins to rock back and forth, slowly at first but quickly becoming more and more violent.
•Howls of rage can be heard from coming from inside the wreckage.
•The sound of twisting metal fills the air as the top of the wreckage bulges outward from the inside.
•Kjipper slowly back away as he takes all of this in.
•The wreckage finally gives, and were-squirrel Eric clambers out of what used to be his ship. Were- squirrel Frederick follows close behind.
•The few tattered clothes that still clung to them and their fur color was all that remained of their human selves.
•They both stood around seven to eight foot tall as were- squirrels.
•The had their basic humanoid shape, but with the additions of a tail, snout, claws, and fur.
•They both walked around sniffing and grunting before turning all their attention towards Kjipper.
•Kjipper goes deathly still as their gaze falls upon him.
•Were-squirrel Frederick quickly starts closing in on Kjipper, as Kjipper pulls a plasma gun from the folds of his fur.
•Were-squirrel Frederick reaches Kjipper and uppercuts him, sending him flying upward.
•Kjipper manages to spin around mid-air, firing several shots off at his attacker.
•Kjipper grabs a hold of the nearest branch as his upward momentum begins to slow.
•He glances down to see the two were-squirrels charging up the side of the tree with incredible speed.
•He starts taking shots at them, but they’re too fast for him.
•The gun goes empty and Kjipper curses as he tosses it away and starts climbing up the tree to get away from the fast approaching were-squirrels.
KJIPPER
(Throwing the gun in anger)
Piece of shit!
•As Kjipper races up the side of the tree, were-squirrel Eric races up beside him.
•With one swipe of his arm, were-squirrel Eric ripped Kjipper from the tree and the two went tumbling toward the ground.
•Were-squirrel Eric pummels Kjipper senseless before landing on a nearby tree and tossing the barley conscious Kjipper to the ground.
•Landing at the feet of were-squirrel Frederick, Kjipper struggles and fails to get up while moaning in angry pain.
•Were-squirrel Eric crash lands behind Kjipper, and slowly begins to close in on him in unison with were- Frederick.
SCENE 44: EXT. PLANUT – FOREST – AFTERNOON
•The tip of the Screwdriver breaks through the atmosphere as the ship begins it’s transformation back into the Little Box.
•It completes it’s transformation just in time to slide safely between the trees.
•The Little Box safely lands just a few yards from the wreckage of Eric and Frederick’s ship.
•There is no sign of Eric, Frederick or Kjipper.
•The ground and nearby trees are littered with charred burnt patches from plasma shots.
•A large pool of blood sat congealing where Kjipper was laying in SCENE 43.
•Thug Master climbs out of the Little Box first, followed by Cletus.
•Cletus sees the wreckage and rushes to it crying out.
CLETUS
(Panicked)
Oh shit! Fred!
•As Cletus climbs into the wreckage, Thug Master walks over the the pool of blood.
CLETUS CONT’D
Fred! Fred are ya in here?
•Thug Master knelt down to examine the blood pool closer, when he noticed all of the huge claw marks everywhere and the drag marks leading away from the blood pool, stopping at a tree.
•There was still no sign of any bodies.
THUG MASTER
They could be anywhere by now.
•Thug Master turns and sighs as he realizes that Cletus is still inside the wreckage, and that he was talking to himself.
•Thug Master starts making his way towards the wreck as Cletus starts climbing out.
CLETUS
He’s not here! I can’t find ‘em anywhere!
THUG MASTER
Calm down. That means their still alive doesn’t it?
CLETUS
(Taking a moment to ponder this)
Yeah… Yeah I suppose you’re right.
THUG MASTER
That’s the good news. The bad news is that they could be anywhere by now and we need to leave.
CLETUS
What?! We need to look for ‘em!
THUG MASTER
It’s dangerous here! I don’t know if Kjipper is dead or alive, and as far as the general squirrel public are concerned humans are a stupid and evil sub species.
CLETUS
So what? We just run away with our tails between our legs?
THUG MASTER
We’re not running away, we just need to regroup.
CLETUS
Fuck that! I’m gonna stay and look for ‘em!
•Just then a large ship passes over the forest.
THUG MASTER
(Looking up at the passing ship)
The squirrels are already here Cletus, they won’t be too happy if they find us here.
•Thug Master turns back to Cletus to find that he has gone missing.
THUG MASTER
Shit Cletus! Cletus come back!
•Thug Master spins around looking all over for Cletus, but he is nowhere to be found.
•Thug Master starts running back towards the Little Box as the large squirrel ship lands in a nearby clearing.
•Thug Master practically dives into the Little Box, and moments later it takes off back into space.
SCENE 45: INT. LITTLE BOX – SPACE
•Emily and Josh sit at the table in the main room of the Little Box, staring down Thug Master.
EMILY
Why are we leaving? Where’s Eric and the Fredrickson’s?
THUG MASTER
(Doing his best to stay calm)
I don’t know.
JOSH
What the hell does that mean? Cletus was right behind you when you got off the ship!
THUG MASTER
(Sighing)
Eric and Frederick weren’t at the crash site. Hostel squirrels showed up and I told him we should leave, but he insisted on staying. He made his choice and I made mine.
JOSH
That’s such bullshit! First you let Vincent die, and now you abandon Eric and the Fredrickson’s on some alien planet to die!
THUG MASTER
(Losing his cool)
Look it was either that, or we could still be down there getting murdered. I saved your lives!
EMILY
(Sarcastically)
I’d love Vincent to hear that.
THUG MASTER
Look I don’t have to take this. We’re going back to Earth and you’re going to go back to your normal lives. You won’t mention any of this to anyone, because if you do they’ll just think your nuts.
JOSH
Doesn’t sound like we have a choice.
THUG MASTER
You don’t.
EMILY
What about Vincent? What do we tell people?
THUG MASTER
I’ll take care of everything, but if anyone asks you haven’t seen him since last night.
JOSH
So we’re really just abandoning them here?
THUG MASTER
Look they’ll be fine. Once Oberon gets back to Planut, he’ll organize a search. I promise I’ll keep you updated.
•Thug Master then stands up from his chair.
THUG MASTER CONT’D
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a few calls no make. I suggest you get some rest. It’s a long way back to Earth.
•Thug Master then leaves the room.
•Josh and Emily stare at each other somberly for a moment.
EMILY
So much has changed.
JOSH
(Pointing toward Thug Master’s room)
I don’t care what that guy says, from now on everything is different. We can’t just return to normal, not after today.
EMILY
(Smiling weakly at Josh)
I can get behind that.
THE END
